Saturday, January 26, 2008

Double Edged Sword

On most occasions I pride myself as being a compassionate person but I sometimes can't help but think it's also a detriment.

The last half of 2007 was a horrible year for me as well as some of my close friends. We experienced the loss of an old spirit as well as a new one, dealt with the mistrust of spouses and friends, had health problems as well as financial downfalls. I was so excited to start a new year, a new beginning, my light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately the first couple weeks of 08 have been just as bad. I am now convinced that the universe may be conspiring against me.

I am sorely torn between wanting so badly to feel sorry for myself but at the same time realizing that it could be much worse. How do you balance feeling so blessed for all you have and still getting to act like a whiny brat? I would like nothing more than to lock myself in my room and cry, obviously this isn't practical but why am i having such a hard time feeling sorry for myself?

My breaking point happened when Chase shattered the screen on my iPhone by bludgeoning it with his wiggles light stick. I wanted to go ballistic I wanted to scream and shout and throw a hissy fit but I was just too upset to do anything. But even while in my shock and dismay I couldn't stop thinking about how I'm crying over a $400 phone while their are people out there with REAL problems. Sure my issue is a loss and sucks horribly but it's not the worse thing in the world.

I wish for once I could just let my emotions feel sorry for myself without thinking of others. Can I have my moment of udder breakdown without feeling bad for it?

My Broken Iphone....

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