Monday, January 28, 2008


Today is my due date. If everything had went as planned I would be giving birth to a beautiful baby girl today. Instead I visited the cemetery where my angel baby was laid to rest in September. It's hard to describe how I feel about the whole situation. Naturally there are countless ifs, buts, maybes and whys but like most things you just have to except that this is life and things don't always go the way you plan.

Miscarriage is something I never thought would happen to me, especially after already having one healthy baby. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through and has changed the way I feel about so many things. I am thankful for having had her even for a sort time and I thank god every day for all the many blessings he has giving me. Going through this has made me appreciate my life and the people in my life so much more than I did before. Because of her my eyes are open to a better world, despite the pain of losing her.

1 comment:

  1. Amanda, I want to thank you for the post you left me some time back and I pray you are enjoying singing Mares-eat-oats with your grandma for many more years to come. I have also enjoyed sneeking a peek on your blog from time to time! Glad to see you are posting often these days, keep it up! You just strike me as a person I would click with from the moment I saw you on Me Ra's Blog! I wanted to also offer condolences about the loss of your baby daughter. I too have miscarried and know that pain is deep. How precious the gifts she has given to your heart, from the short time you had together. I must say that I relate and share the guilt of feeling sorry for my-self from time to time also, with all life can through at us. With that said, I have found that it is okay to grieve, as long as I am mindful not to stay their to long. Blessings to you as the new year progresses. Hope things turn around and look brighter daily!


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