Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Betrayal of September

It has been one year since I lost Sydney and a week since the world lost Preston. September used to be my favorite month but each year it seems something bad happens within those 30 days. Don't know why that is but I think October just might be pretty happy about being my new favorite month!

In memoriam...

To my angel baby Sydney, I often think of who you would be now, what would you be doing? Would you be like your brother or have a vibrancy all your own? Would you be crawling? What would my life be like with you in it? I miss you, I miss the you I never got to know, I miss the idea of my sweet baby girl. I'm sorry I haven't had your headstone put back, I'm sure "Orville" enjoyed the flowers chase left him because we couldn't find where to leave them for baby sister. I so wish things would have been different, but I thank god for the time I did have with you and the person I have become because of it!

To Preston, you have changed my life more than you will ever know. You were a great man and leave behind an undeniable legacy! I am sad that the world has lost you but I am glad that in the time you were here you touched and helped so many! I thank god for you and think about you almost every minute. Even though I sometimes wish I didn't have to experience what I did I thank god for putting me where he thought I should be. It was his plan for you as well as me and I am blessed to be linked to you in that way. I look forward to meeting you one day!


Sometimes it's hard to find answers to the way cards are dealt to you in life. But I have faith that all things happen for a reason and that these tough things have made me and will continue to mold me into the person I am suppose to be. Thank you to all of you who have kept me in your prayers it helps more than you know!


  1. wish i could give you a big warm hug right about now...

  2. So sorry to hear about your pain Amanda. I do know one thing, getting it out there and talking about it is the best thing you can do. So you are dealing with things perfectly. And hugs do help a lot even virtual hugs. So here are a few 000000 and a X.

  3. wow. i don't have a lot to say....

    but i'm with carrie. here's a hug from your brother in california. take care.

  4. I can't believe a year has pass.. yes, there are events in our lives that we will never understand untill that day comes but till then trust that God is bigger than us and beyond our comprehension. You are a strong amazing woman. HUGS!!

  5. I too wish I could squeeze you!

    I adore the person you are and I pray that God brings me to my knees whenever you need me to pray for you.

  6. I'm sending you a hug right now...

  7. Hey De,
    Time sure does fly. Im sorry that the 23rd passed and I didnt get to mention it to you. I would have never even guessed that it had already been 1 year. You are my sister and I love you. Im proud of who you are and lucky to be your friend.


Thank you for your comments!