Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Grass is always Greener

I got this e-mail a little while ago and really enjoyed it...

Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter.
Some of their houses will be bigger. Some will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school. And their husband will fix more things around the house.
We must realize we can't have it all,
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. Think about it!
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children. And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes might be lonely.
We are taught 'If I have not Love, I am nothing.' So LOVE YOU! Love who you are! Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say, I am too Blessed to be Stressed and too Anointed to be Disappointed!
Winners make things happen! Losers let things happen!
Be Blessed!!!

It's so true that we all struggle with envy and even jealously at things others may have that we don't. Weather it's possessions, beauty, talent or one of many other things. I always try to remind myself that even though someone may have something I desire I still need to be grateful for all the wonderful things I do have. Hey their might just be someone out there that thinks your pretty great as well and might wish she had some of the things you do!

On this same topic, Liah sent me an article by Jean Thompson that was printed in Allure titled the "Girl of my Dreams" I Love this article!!! I debated actually putting the whole essay up here, but it's too long so here are some pieces of it...

"I saw her again not long ago, while I was waiting for a flight at O'Hare. We were both standing in line for coffee. I was my usual haggard pre-flight self, dressed in athletic shoes, utilitarian black pants, and an oversize linen shirt, already wrinkled. A militant nonchecker of luggage, I was sweating under the bulky weight of my carry-ons.

The Girl I Always Wanted to Be wore a summery white blouse and skirt, cinched with a slim gold belt. She carried a ladylike straw clutch which matched her espadrilles. (My own handbag, selected for its storage capacity, looked and felt as if it were stuffed with rocks.) On her wrists were dainty bracelets; around her neck, some sparkly chains. Most telling of all, the Girl I Always Wanted to Be ordered her coffee and strolled off with it in an amused, leisurely fashion, as if travel were an adventure to be enjoyed, as if it were to be expected that you pulled your look together for the occasion, and that fretting over how to pack
miniaturized toiletries into TSA-approved containers was for lesser mortals.

Now, one vital characteristic of the Girl I Always Wanted to Be is that she is a stranger, momentarily glimpsed. For all I know, the girl in the airport arrived at her destination bereft of her luggage, stamping her well-shod foot in baggage claim, and calculating how long she could manage without buying new underwear. That's not the point.

There's a combination of appearance, attitude, and circumstances that, for a powerful, unwilled moment, makes us want to be someone else. It's different from ordinary envy of, say, catalog models or celebrities. Different also from that mainstay of advertising the pairing of products with desirable scenarios, i.e., if only I could be that happy, attractive person drinking Coke or driving a Lexus. And when it comes to the accomplishments of accomplished women, I'd like to think that I admire them without any dark complications of motive. But the Girl I Always Wanted to Be involves wistfulness, an awareness of our own insecurities, identity as it can be conveyed by style and, perhaps, a sense of possibilities."

"A second truth about TGIAWTB is that she changes over time, mutates along with our chronological age and the prevailing culture. Think about the phase, or phases, you went through when you ardently wished to be called by a different name. In second grade I determined that the most perfect, most mellifluous name in the world belonged to my classmate Lana Joy Jacobs, who took tap-dancing lessons. (Hi, Lana Joy! How did life turn out?) Later I wanted to be Cindy or Candy. (Think cheerleader. Think plaid.) Later still, coming of age in the 1960s, maybe Yasmina or Shenandoah.

In time I came to terms with my own noncommittal monosyllable, to which no nickname has ever adhered. Just as when we get older we tend to make peace with ourselves, inside and out, or else go for the big transformation-the sex-change operation or religious conversion. But the impulse to change, rearrange, or perfect stays with us, fueling entire industries. There's a balance between self-improvement and self-acceptance that we each have to find for ourselves."

I know that was still long but I just had to share this! How many times have you seen that "Girl I always wanted to be"? What was it about her that made you wish to be her? In what ways can you draw strength and love for ourselves by admiring TGIAWTB? I love thinking about things like this. I loved this article because it made me aware of my own feelings when I look at that girl I've always wanted to be and instead of feeling bad I'm not her it makes me appreciate myself even more. Sure I'd still Die to have that tiny waist and Hermes handbag but I'm just as happy in my own skin with my fake Prada from canal street! ;)


  1. What a great article, and so true. You know, even us guys struggle with this sort of thing and I'm happy that in this day and age it's become (a little) more acceptable for us to admit it.

    I have just finished reading a great book on following your dreams by Bob and Mel Blanchard, called "Live What Your Love", and it relates to what you've written here in that it's all about improving yourself to get what you want. By getting what you want you no longer envy those that have what you want. Sure, you can take the time to train your brain to be more comfortable with what you've got now as a way of beating the envy of what others have, but personally, I'd much rather learn how to go about achieving my dreams than try and learn to be complacent with what I have.

  2. I love your Prada from the canal street too (; hahahah...I love what you wrote.

  3. I forgot to tell you how great your hair was at the PUG meeting the other night. Your TGWTHIWIH to me, "The Girl With The Hair I Wish I Had" lol

    Fantastic post, not too long at all :)


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